In October of 2000, Shacknews held their Stupid Contest #2 in which Shack readers were asked to submit "Game God" cards in retaliation for the extremely lame "Game Gods" cards created by PC Gamer. Being that avid reader that I was I submitted a total of 15 cards, of which one was rejected (and will not be presented here as I think sTeve's reasons for rejecting it are valid), one was lost in transit (see Flame War below) and the other 13 accepted. Because I'm an egomaniac I've built this here page to display all of my submissions. I did not win, but "Babe Hunt" did place in the top five. So, here are the cards I submitted.

Big Fucking Gun!
Babe Hunts are a long standing tradition at The Shack. They consist of various regular (and irregular) readers of The Shack posting links to pics of pinup models, naked women and even outright pornography. Sanctioned Babe Hunts are rare, but spontaneous ones have been known to happen out of the blue.
That's Christy Carrera on the left and Holly Witt on the right. I don't know the names of the three in the middle.
The three versions of the BFG from id Software's games (clockwise from the bottom right), DOOM - DOOM2, Quake 2 and Quake 3 Arena. The BFG is the most powerful weapon in these games. "BFG" stands for "Big F*cking Gun" according to Tom Hall, game designer for DOOM.

Har Har!
Janitor Bob was a joke character that hung around the websites and .plan files of several prominent game companies in 1996 and 1997. He was crass, foul, uneducated and insane. He had a taste for sexual relations with sheep, and for accusing others of the same. After a while the joke ran thin and he disappeared from the scene. Janitor Bob's closet was hidden in one of the maps of the game Sin, with a spy camera pointed at the game's sexy villianess, Elexis Sinclair, masturbating in a bathtub. Cyberdemon is one of the alter-egos of one of the Shugashack regulars. He is in constant battle with Bizatchu, a "Shakemon", the alter-ego of (presumably) another regular.
Cyberdemon is also the name of the Boss Monster from Episode 2 of id Software's game - DOOM.

Die, damn you!
You suck!
This is the hero of DOOM, the Doom Guy. Though he is never named in the game, I suspect is a descendant of Castle Wolfensein 3D's hero, BJ Blaskowics. Flame wars are another long-standing tradition at The Shack, as they are all over the on-line community.
Somehow this card never made it into the contest. I know I mailed it in.

Pork ribletts!
Like 'em?
"Gibs", short for "giblets" were first introduced into the gaming vernacular with id Software's game DOOM. They are the exploded remains of whatever poor creature (or fellow player) was just hit by a powerful weapon. Gibs are now standard in most First-Person games on the market. Lara Croft. What else is there to say other than I spelled her name wrong on the card? I could fix that error here, but that would be dishonest.
Those measurements are her official measurements as published in the book "Lara Croft: The Art of Virtual Seduction"

Hi, sTeve!
What the hell are you looking at!?
Jennifer Love Hewitt has been a fixture of Shack culture for some time. sTeve has repeatedly expressed his longing for the young actress. A minor reference to Ms. Hewitt was included in the game Sin, as a "hello" to sTeve, who had worked as Ritual Software's web-pimp for a while during the game's development. Yep, that's me. I took a picture of myself with a finger up my nose and hammered away at it with various Photoshop plug-ins. I still don't know what possessed me to turn this thing in.

I'll make you my bitch!
Stay good!
This image of John Romero is from Map30 of DOOM 2. John Romero was one of the founders of id Software who left to form Ion Storm. He is responsible for Daikatana, one of the worst First-Person games ever made (IMHO). Zoe, Riff and Torg, the main human characters from Sluggy Freelance. Here they are decked out in their Quatrix outfits.
This is the only card that I contacted the original artist for permission before I turned it in.

Take a gander at these!
We all know sex sells. The featured models are (left to right): Elexis Sinclair of Sin, Lara Croft of the Tomb Raider games, Julie of "Heavy Metal: FAKK2" (a better product than the movie it was based on) and Captain Thigh of "Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love For Sale". Tom Servo is another regular reader of The Shack. He provided me with the quote on this card. The image is of the Tom Servo of the hit TV show "Mystery Science Theatre 3,000", from which the other Tom Servo took his alias.

Originally posted 14, NOV 2000.