As many of you old-timers are aware, there is some pretty sick stuff out there on the Intraweb. One of the many images that burns itself into your mind and never leaves you in peace is the infamous "hello.jpg" image from www.goatse.cx. The first time I saw this image I damn-near puked my guts out. It was over a week before that image did not appear before me every time I closed my eyes.

In an attempt to rid myself of the horror that this image has caused me, I have turned to mocking it in this page. So, I present to you, dear reader, altered versions of this infamous image.

May God have mercy on my soul.
December 01, 2001. Richard Ward.
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Hoo-haw!
Resistance is futile!
Here's looking at you, kid.
I'll bite your kneecaps off!
Houston, we have a problem!
Redundant, I'm sorry.
May I help you?
Da plane!  Da plane!
Free at last!
Weesa all gonna die!
It's juts like Texas!!
Kissy-kissy!
I'll kill you!
Hooyah!!